10 Things Every First Time Mother Needs To Know

Honestly, I could have probably done a post on 100 things that first time mothers need to know but then that would end up as a novel, so I thought I'd just stick with 10. So let's jump right in and see how many of you agree with all 10 things in this list.

10 things first time mothers need to know

1. Unsolicited advice comes with the territory.

Most people (mainly the older generation) will have an opinion on how best to raise your baby. They all think they are experts and that they know best and so like to shower you with their infinite wisdom - even though you didn't ask for it.

The phrase "well that's what we did in my day and we're all fine" will be said more times than you can count. Yes Brenda, little Stephan may have had rum rubbed into his gums when he was little but that doesn't mean I'm about to show my 6 week old how to party it up like the best of them!

The best way to deal with this? Smile politely and pretend to care about what they are saying. And then ignore them. You may want to say something to them about where they can shove their advice but trust me, it's not worth the arguments!

 You know what's best for your baby even when you don't think that you do. And if you actually want advice or an opinion then just ask for it! Take everything with a pinch of salt and apply only what will work for you.

2. Breastfeeding is natural - but that doesn't mean it comes naturally!

Also, I would like to slap every health care professional and pro breastfeeding mother that says "if it hurts then you're doing it wrong". You have a tiny little human sucking for dear life (literally) on your nipples that, in most cases, have never had that kind of constant and rough attention, especially for what feels like 20 hours of the day. Until those bad boys harden up, it's gonna hurt!

breastfeeding


The first 6 weeks or so are definitely the hardest and it's around this time that most mothers quit. It's a never ending cycle while you both get used to breastfeeding. The closeness that you get from being snuggled up to your newborn and watching them feed, knowing that you are everything they need is utterly heart bursting.

But if it turns out that breastfeeding is not for you and your little one, be prepared to test out a few different bottles until you find one with a teat that your baby gets on with. It may be the first bottle you try, it may be the tenth. There is one out there though so don't despair.

3. It's ok if you don't get that "sudden rush" of love.

Many first time mothers will talk about the instant and life changing wave of love that hits them when they held their baby for the first time but this honestly isn't the case for everyone. My personal experience of it, is that it's more like a gradual (but quick) feeling that builds up until one day, at maybe a week old, you look at your baby and just think "you are the best thing in the whole, entire world".

Even though you are sleep deprived, haven't showered in that whole week, haven't managed to drink your now cold cup of coffee and are absolutely ravenous, you will stop what you're doing and just stare in utter amazement at how you possibly created something beautiful and perfect.

If, after 2 weeks, you still don't feel connected to your baby, make sure you talk to your GP or health visitor about it. The earlier you do, the better it will be for you and your baby.

4. You do not need to buy baby toys.

For at least the first year. Seriously. I can guarantee that baby wipes will become a firm favourite play thing. Pulling all the wipes out of the packet brings no end of joy and buys you valuable peace and quiet. Let them do it and just stuff them back in afterwards.

Another few favourites will be your house keys, mobile phone, shoes, cupboard doors and the tv remote control. Take the batteries out of the remote and let them play. That way you can still catch up on your favourite shows and they won't be changing the channel every 10 seconds, muting it or whacking the volume up aaalllll the way.

5. You will wonder what on earth you've done all day.

And the answer will be - stared at your newborn. They'll have slipped into an adorable milk coma in your arms and you'll think to yourself "I'll just put them down in a minute after I've had some cuddles" and then an hour later when they're stirring for their next feed and you think sh!t. Repeat this process multiple times during the day.

When they get to the crawling stage and the needing entertainment stage, you'll sit and wonder how on earth your house wasn't spotless and why you weren't cooking up gourmet meals every night! Because you'll suddenly realise that you had the time to do it while your baby didn't do anything other than lie there.

6. Leaving the hospital will be utterly terrifying!

You've just spent hours and hours in the hospital, surrounded by professionals helping you give birth and take care of your brand new baby and now the time has come for you to be discharged. Excitement and relief peaks right up until the point where you shut the car door with your beautiful bundle of joy wrapped inside....and then the terror sets in.

newborn hospital midwife led unit


You've never taken care of such a helpless little being and now you're in charge of keeping one alive. Just relax, take a deep breath and tell yourself you've got this. Your mothers instinct will kick straight in and you'll just know what to do, trust me.

7. Newborns are far more portable than a 3 month old.

Getting out of the house will be so good for you in those early days. Go and meet a friend for coffee, go for a walk, take any opportunity that comes your way to leave the house! Because once your baby starts settling down in a more predictable sleeping pattern, you'll start to not want to mess with that precious nap schedule.

8. Your baby won't just slot into your current life.

You hear some mothers who have this odd expectation that their baby is just going to slot right in to the life they currently have. The reality is that your life slots around your baby. There will be times where it feels so easy and there will be times where it's really difficult to accept that your life has changed and you can't do the things you used to with as much ease.

This feeling will crop up regularly in your parenthood journey but will always be short lived as you look at your child and realise there is nothing better than the life you are now living.

9. Your clothes will be covered in all sorts of....secretions.

And you probably won't realise until you're already out of the door and on your way somewhere. During the first week or so, you'll change your clothes multiple times a day when you spot some sort of baby gunk on them. But eventually, you will get tired of getting changed every 10 minutes just to get covered in something else so you'll stop caring and start rocking the stained look.

10. You were made for this.

Stop panicking about whether you're doing things right and start enjoying your new role as a parent. There is nothing else in the world that your baby needs more than you and your love. Let your instinct take over and do what YOU feel is best and ignore those aunties, cousins, friends, grandmas and even strangers on the street telling you how you should bring up your baby.

You are strong. You are beautiful. You are capable.

Never forget it.

mom of two daughter son
 
 
 
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2 comments

  1. This is such a wonderful post for all new moms. I am sure this will help all new mothers. yes you are right We Mothers are strong, beautiful and capable. Thank you for sharing this post

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    1. We all need a little reminder sometimes of how amazing we are ❤️

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